In all honestly I haven't been sleeping good at all. Like tonight, what the fuck was the reason why I couldn't go to sleep? I wasn't even thinking about much, just the fact that I wanted to love someone tonight. Really, really bad. I was almost crying internally. I'm really sleepy right now but I'm here writing because if I get my thoughts down, maybe they'll escape from my head. Today, talking to my mom and sister made me realize that I'm no where near ready for another relationship, I'm still hurting and trying to recovery from this one relationship that ended 4 months ago, I suppose. I'm getting there, and I'm getting better. It's not exactly that I'm not over it, or that I think about it randomly, it's just people bring it up, it still stings. Anyway, tonight, just for tonight, I wanted to kiss and rub someone's hair while they slept so they can know I'm here to take care of them. Why do I always yearn to love and take care f someone? I should take a break and let me be loved and taken care of, the way I should be. But no, once it happens like it is now with this current guy, I'm scared as fuck. It's almost as if it's to beautiful for me to touch it with my wounds and old teared up soul. But I can't help, all I wanna do is be embraced by his arms. I can never rush love, that's why I'm here. Wanting to be in love, loved and taken care of.