I'm glad things are getting more calm between me and my mother. I didn't like how my thoughts were leading me into being a rebellious child, well at least trying to be one. So i'm really glad. I really hate it when me and her aren't on good terms. There's so much tension when were fighting about something. It's probably because we are a lot alike. Every time we get into a fight, in the middle of it, not even to long into the conversation, i start tearing which leads into crying. I just can't deal with me and her bumping heads. Especially with someone who i love a lot. Come to think of it, i can't deal with me bumping heads with anyone. I just don't like fighting until a point is across. I rather do it civilize and well mannered and that barely happens. It all depends on what the problem is though. I mean, i still fight, of course. But i hate it, i wish i had more control on my nerves because it's not even my anger that makes me fight with people, it's just me getting nervous about dealing with the problem. Which leads into me repeating myself and building up everything from being nervous which goes into anger. I feel nasty after a fight too. I feel like i need to cleanse myself, mentally, emotionally and spiritually wise. Taking a nap or showering and then taking a nap is what i prefer doing after a fight. Which is always liking to get done. The point of is, i need to find a better way to deal with problems, so i won't feel so nasty.