I wish i can explain the emotions i feel at the moment. But my head just hurts. My throat is completely dry because i'm holding back tears. I need a shell. I want to write more. I want to feel better. I want this to not exist. I do not live by raw emotion, i'll tell you that. Judgements aren't important. So therefore, they shouldn't exist. It hurts people.  

That's not what i want to say. I don't know what should be said anymore. Everything is reminding me of you. And i wish it didnt. I wish you didn't say the things you said. I keep on going back to my email, like a fool. Hoping for something. I don't care, this is my journal and i'm going to watch anime until i stop crying. I can't believe you lied this whole time.