I feel like I'm wasting my time when I get on the laptop and stay on for more than an hour. Tomorrow I'm going into the payless near my house and I'm going to ask if they're hiring. There's so much things I need to pay off first and then buy the things I want. I spent today on the laptop doing math things and just browsing. I feel utterly boring with my life right this moment. So I'm hoping that changes real soon. Well it's going too. One of the things that I'm happy about is, that I'm starting to do things that I want without explaining myself. Because I no longer what to live by "doing things because it's right or that I should", I'm doing things because I want too and it makes me happy. I feel like if I live by that, things will fall into it's place especially emotionally wise and mentally wise. I'm really doing okay now. Yes, I get lonely but only because I know how it feels to not be lonely.