It disappoints me how people can treat you however they want, especially when they know you are that type of person to always stay around no matter what. It shouldn't have to be that way but it is. It disappoints me that were family and my big brother doesn't even treat us like we are. I'm not talking about each person in this huge family. But me, my brother, my mother and my father. We are always going to be here and that's what families are for. To always be there when you can't stand anymore. We are the most depended source. Well we are suppose to be. That's what family should mean. To treat eachother kind, with respect, with love and created beautiful freaking memories. Not treat us like were nothing only when you need us or when you feel like coming over to visit us and you're accepting a welcoming greeting. Who does my big brother think he is? But you know, there's always a limit. There's so much a person can take but won't allow it because we don't deserve to be treated like that. It's one thing, when my big brother stopped calling me for my birthday for years and just called my sister and my little brother because hey, there was always an excuse when it came to me. Of course, that stung. I was a little girl stuck on the things he use to say to me about all of our plans to go and ride horses and just do the things I wanted to do. I was hurt, he made me feel like I really didn't mean anything. But I got over that during my highschool years because nothing was ever going to change. But that's okay because I can get over it and I never really ever interacted with him anyway like that when I startled to get older because I knew what kind of person you were. But when you treat my brother and my father like their some toys is when he is crossing the fucking line. Especially when they give him fucking everything. He can call tonight and tell my dad he desperately needs 500 dollars and my dad would tell him he would try his best to get it by the next day. Even if he worked fucking hard for that money. And my big brother screws him over all the time, talks shit and sometimes doesn't even talk to him for months because he's upset at something my dad did. Like grow the fuck up, you're 30 fucking years old. It's like that time when my little brother needed you the fucking most because he was hanging out with the wrong people so you took him under your vision and made him go to you to P.A so you can make him do your fucking chores? Fuck that. I don't know, you just don't treat people like that. Especially the people I fucking adore. So when he comes over tomorrow, I'm not going to bite my tongue like I have been doing for the past years. It bothers me still and I hate it. It still stings to know that you treat my cousins like they are your siblings instead of me. Like I've said so many times, there's so much someone can take, so many times a person can forgive you until they're done with the shit you pull off. I'm not fucking 12 where I'm gonna act like everything is all fucking right when it isn't. This isn't even the full story of how I feel. It's just the bitter taste of it.
Humanity works fucking backwards. How can you go to sleep treating someone who loves you so bad? Who would give you anything at any given moment? How can you treat the wrong people so good and the right people so bad? That doesn't make any sense. No one knows what the fuck is good anymore. Appreciation, everyone fucking lacks it.
