I got myself a bike.

It feels good to know that I have a bike and that I can ride it whenever I want too with out anyone and telling anyone where I'm going. Just fucking ride, where ever your legs end up taking you. It's in my room right now with me. It also feels good to say ' let's fucking bike ride', whenever as well.

It's been a year that I had you.

This blog has been so useful and helpful to me. Sometimes, I wish I can just give it a huge hug for never turning it's back on me and just always being there no matter how much I ignore it. It's a year now and it feels good to know that I can keep something meaningful for a year without a problem.

I blocked someone tonight.

I don't even know the damn person but I blocked her. I just don't want to know that she exist right now even if it's on facebook. The things that connect to her, bother me a whole lot. I over re-act for no reason. I'm just insecure about her and honestly nothing even really fucking caused it in reality sense. I just feel like she offers a little more then me and that makes me feel threaten. Noone knows this of course, yet. I'm just not ready to talk about it to anyone. Tricking your mind is so easy and powerful. Sometimes useful too. I just need this right now. Call me crazy but this makes me happy right now. It's about the NOW.

The refreshment

I startled going to a yoga class with my boyfriend and it's been a week and a half already. I'm utterly in love with it, but hey it's me and I fall in love with pretty much everything life has to offer. I'm just that way. I love everything and I start to learn how to love everyone no matter their flaws. But yoga is teaching me alot of things and I'm learning how to take it in and apply it to my life. I just need some help with everything in my life right now. So this is really good for me. I didn't know I was going through such a complicated thing within myself until tonight. I look forward to yoga every week. Sadly, it's going to start being one day of the week which will be wednesday. I'm meeting alot of people that are quite lovely and with different qualities.

I think it's about time.

Sometimes and if not all the time, I feel like I'm too of a good girlfriend to be with anyone. No cockyness intended. It's quite hard to explain but it all makes sense inside my head. I care a whole lot, love and I make sure the person is completely comfortable and happy with me and just everything in their lives. I'm always supporting everything my current boyfriends likes, hobbies or goals. I don't know. I guess it isn't as easy to explain as I thought it would be. I'm quite emotion when I get attached or just when I start to care a whole lot for someone. Maybe I'm just to much for anyone to deal with? Or perhaps I haven't felt like anyone is able to handle everything I offer and feel yet.  It's like, when something is wrong, I'm willing to fix it and make it all better and then letting it go. I'm all super happy at times and it's so easy to keep me happy. I don't know what it is, for sure. I just know I keep losing myself and finding myself. It's been a repeat of that for a while now. When I finally feel like I find myself, something knocks it and I sort of have to start all over. It's better though. I mean, I find myself in a better state of mind after but I just don't feel like people around me have patience to stick around for it and just help me. I just have to keep working on making myself button proof and living in the present.

It's just an emotional night for me.