Today's the last day of this beautiful May.

There's something about this summer that makes me love sweating and sitting on the streets enjoying a lucy and a smoothie with lovely people around me. I need to expand my circle more and hang out with more beautiful girlies<3!

I already have everything set for prom. I got my dress, my prom ticket, my date which is my bestfriend, my jewellery and after prom outfit:) Although, we don't have a ride yet because that's being really sketchy, I'm sure I'll have a ride. I'm excited yet again I'm not. But I know I am going to look great because I love everything that I bought.

I'm going to be spending the day with my family and I can't wait to feel the love throughout the bbqs, cakes, hugs and the catching up talks. I'm excited. This month has been such a beautiful month to me. I can already taste the new great memories for this upcoming summer. It's going to be great.

http://www.avederoutfit.com/

Me and My boo are on a website for our style <333

I like the non-stop babe calling.

I stood home today because well, I look the way I look. Haha, no, I just woke up really late and didn't see the point of going to school and I'm debating whether I should do my hair or not for tomorrow's award ceremony.

I love water, reggae, being barefoot and smiles.

I'm soooooooooooo HAAAPPPPY.

Today wasn't such a bad day.

It was pouring, drizzling and raining but I loved it. I found it so refreshing and beautiful for the earth and me. I didn't do anything but spent some time with my friend while he talked about his problems. I was pretty surprise on my advices because it was awesome and I didn't know where it was coming from exactly. But I'm assuming because of experience. I'm really sleepy. I felt like I haven't slept at all.

MIL

I went to school yesterday and was overly excited for the afternoon. I hopped on the train and waited impatiently for the stop coming that I had to get off. Every time it got closer, I would yell inside my head " OMG OMG, ONE MORE STOP!" I felt like such a little kid but I couldn't help it. I finally got off and of course, as usual, I looked at my reflection and made sure I looked great or at least decent enough to make me feel sort a pretty. I waited for a couple of minutes for him at our usual spot after I get off the train. Shortly after he came, we walked to Chipotle to eat some chips with avocado. Really yummy, we stayed there for a while talking and laughing. After so, we decided to go watch a movie in brooklyn and to get some icecream. But when we got there all the showings were pretty late. I had to pee really bad so I didn't really care much about the fact that I wasn't going to watch a movie. I just told him that we can walk around the park that was across from it. So me and him went walking around looking for places that I can go and pee in. We found this little shop were they had cookies, icecream and all that such. When I was all done we back to the park. He ended up picking a spot, right under a tree, I sat on a fence sorta thing, pretty high so I was dangling my feet while we talk and ate a cookie that we bought. Later on, I realize this gum looking thing next to me but I didn't pay mind to it because I just thought it was gum. For some reason, I looked at it again and realized it was a dead baby beautiful born bird. It broke up my heart  and so did his. I told him we had to buried it. I told him to put the bird into the plastic round thing we had where the cookie came in while I dug up a hole next to the tree and gather some flowers. He placed a leaf inside of it and then the baby bird right in the middle of it. I put two yellow flowers right next to the bird and some other white little petals. It looked so beautiful. I wanted to cry because I felt so bad. It was kind a of a gloomy day but while we were doing that the sun came up and we got happy because we felt good while we were digging up the hole to buried this bird. So we eventually got everything all settled, hands dirty, and place a rock above it and some flowers as well. I said a few things before I left to the bird. We were walking to this lake he told me about so we can wash our hands but ended up walking by a waterfall. We climbed up the fences and sat above the waterfall. Clearly, we weren't suppose to be there but it was to beautiful to say no to him when he offered to hop the fence. We talked and talked. It was really nice. I felt happy that we came at that exact time and couldn't watch a movie because placing the bird where it belonged and walking and sitting ontop of a waterfall beats a movie, anytime. Everything was so perfect. Later on, we grabbed a bite at some Colombian place and the waitress was so adorable. I couldn't believe this all happened in brooklyn but I'm glad, more than glad that it did. When we departed from eachother, I realized I got on the wrong train and so did he since he ended up on the same train I was after I realized I was on the wrong train. I don't know how it happened so perfect. But he came back because he was worried and I found that beyond cute.Tomorrow, We'll be going to some art galleries that are free and there gonna be a beers and such. I'm going to meet some of his friends and I hope that all goes well.

So everything all basically happened for a reason, with the movies and the take we took to get there.

Today was such an amazing day. Everything does happen for a reason.

I'm really tired because I had a long day. But I shall write about this tomorrow. <3 AHHHH, until thursday tame:)

I find it quite funny, really funny but in a pathetic way that a lot of these girls that claimed to be my friends flirt with my ex boyfriend. If only they knew. Haha, I'm so glad that's done with though. Oh man/ this is why I prefer guy friends any time over loads of girl friends. Bitches can't ever find their own because their all "swagged out" and walk with their heads inside their asses. Devouring over my left overs? Deleted. So disrespectful.

There's something about this picture I really like.

So I stood home today because I didn't sleep at all last night and I had a really bad cramps. I drank some tea, place some cold cucumbers under my eyes for my bags because to me, I'm becoming really ugly with them there. I just can't sleep and that needs to change. I'm going to get some sleeping pills. Anyway, I've been having quite a relaxing day. I just got off the phone with my dad who called to check up on me and tell me to be careful if I was going outside because of the weather and such. I really like when he does that. When he calls me, for anything good. It makes me feel so love and like his little girl again.

Everytime I crack my back, I feel like a butterfly.

Old scents, I've found them.

I always have a problem with throwing things away.

I always keep things. Memories. I like the idea of them. I find it beautiful when I look back to the things that I saved from whomever gave them to me, wherever I found them or just anything. It reminds me of happiness, sadness, laughter and warmth. Sometimes even anger. But emotions make me feel alive. I never felt  the need to throw these things away but lately I've been feeling the need to do so. So I can have more room for new memories. New everything. Lets start with babysteps. Throwing away empty bottles of lotions and such* haha

I talk so much shit because I miss the relationship me and my big brother use to have.

I realized that when we were sitting down in my living room drinking coffee and talking about all the shit that has been happening in eachother's  life and then he had to leave so we hugged and it just felt so nice. I wish I saw him more often. Maybe I wouldn't feel the way I do when he's mentioned.

My big brother is over today and I guess it isn't as bad as I thought it was going to feel. We've chatted a little and he bought me pizza, nothing big. I've been cooking and cleaning all day. I feel like such a house wife and for the first time, I like it. I like knowing I'm going to make people happy with me cleaning and cooking so that makes me happy. Especially, I like taking care of people. I'm starting to get really good at cooking:) which makes me excited! I can't wait for tomorrow, job hunting all around Steinway mother fuckersss with my friends and then Tuesday <33333333

I'm getting physically bored of everything and I get turn off easily with the little things people do.

It just bothers me because the little things mean the most to me.

Realize the things you do because nothing is forever.

It disappoints me how people can treat you however they want, especially when they know you are that type of person to always stay around no matter what. It shouldn't have to be that way but it is. It disappoints me that were family and my big brother doesn't even treat us like we are. I'm not talking about each person in this huge family. But me, my brother, my mother and my father. We are always going to be here and that's what families are for. To always be there when you can't stand anymore. We are the most depended source. Well we are suppose to be. That's what family should mean. To treat eachother kind, with respect, with love and created beautiful freaking memories. Not treat us like were nothing only when you need us or when you feel like coming over to visit us and you're accepting a welcoming greeting. Who does my big brother think he is? But you know, there's always a limit. There's so much a person can take but won't allow it because we don't deserve to be treated like that. It's one thing, when my big brother stopped calling me for my birthday for years and just called my sister and my little brother because hey, there was always an excuse when it came to me. Of course, that stung. I was a little girl stuck on the things he  use to say to me about all of our plans to go and ride horses and just do the things I wanted to do. I was hurt, he made me feel like I really didn't mean anything. But I got over that during my highschool years because nothing was ever going to change. But that's okay because I can get over it and I never really ever interacted with him anyway like that when I startled to get older because I knew what kind of person you were. But when you treat my brother and my father like their some toys is when he is crossing the fucking line. Especially when they give him fucking everything. He can call tonight and tell my dad he desperately needs 500 dollars and my dad would tell him he would try his best to get it by the next day. Even if he worked fucking hard for that money. And my big brother screws him over all the time, talks shit and sometimes doesn't even talk to him for months because he's upset at something my dad did. Like grow the fuck up, you're 30 fucking years old. It's like that time when my little brother needed you the fucking most because he was hanging out with the wrong people so you took him under your vision and made him go to you to P.A so you can make him do your fucking chores? Fuck that. I don't know, you just don't treat people like that. Especially the people I fucking adore. So when he comes over tomorrow, I'm not going to bite my tongue like I have been doing for the past years. It bothers me still and I hate it. It still stings to know that you treat my cousins like they are your siblings instead of me. Like I've said so many times, there's so much someone can take, so many times a person can forgive you until they're done with the shit you pull off. I'm not fucking 12 where I'm gonna act like everything is all fucking right when it isn't. This isn't even the full story of how I feel. It's just the bitter taste of it.

Humanity works fucking backwards. How can you go to sleep treating someone who loves you so bad? Who would give you anything at any given moment? How can you treat the wrong people so good and the right people so bad? That doesn't make any sense. No one knows what the fuck is good anymore. Appreciation, everyone fucking lacks it.

Barefoot is the way to be.

I really really really want some cupcakes now.

Part 2

Of such a beautiful day. Although, today was the fourth day we've hung out in total. Today was the greatest of them all. Going to Staten Island and on the ferry was so much fun and new to me. Of course so beautiful as well. Being with you today made me realize that everything in the past all happened for a reason and you actually made me more proud to be who I am today. I don't know, that probably doesn't make any sense. But it's this amazing feeling that makes me more thirsty everytime we depart for more affection and words between us because it's makes me grow mentally. It's so weird. This feeling because it's sort of strong and it's just the beginning. We connect in a whole other level spiritually and it creeps us out. But it's such a beautiful creepy way. Ah, I adore this. I haven't felt so right in someone arms in so long. It's like everything is where it belongs. I was confused then about everything in my past but I have my head clear and it's on the right path. Coming back home on the ferry was so freaking purely amazing because of the sunset, clouds and the cold winds that made you wrap me inside of your jacket while you held me. To end this night, I'll be staying up pretty late to finish some stuff and eat kiwis with the company of chai green tea.

I'm up and I don't think I'll be going to sleep.

I'm just going to work on my essay and kind of bullshit it through. I'm going to go to all my classes tomorrow. I have another essay I have to work on for the 12th but I GOT THIS!

Everything about today was just to lovely and it felt great. The parks, laying on the grass, the talks, cookies, pizza and a thrift shop made me feel so happy. The weather was a plus and it just made everything better. I have so much butterflies inside of me. Gah. I want tomorrow to be Wednesday already. I didn't think I was going to find someone who I can do things with that I've been dying to do. I like this.

cuddlecuddlecuddlekisskisskiss
I can't wait to watch Stupid Crazy Love. Steve<345644

My cat slept in my closet all day, whadda a lazy cute cat.
I'm listening to music when I'm suppose to be doing my essay.
I'm happy.
I'm drinking water and I painted my nails dark blue and I added some sprinkles to it.
I think I mean glitter.
I'm waiting for my mom to come home so I can take a picture with her cute self.
Oh and I'm hungry.

Happy Mother's Day to every Mom out there.

Although I have yet to take a picture with my mom today like everyone else, I have to say that I am more than grateful to have a mother like the one I have. I can't imagine growing up without her in my life telling me what's right and what's wrong, yelling at me because how late I come home and never answering to her phone calls, letting her take out dinner for me because she wants too, tagging along with her when she goes food shopping, laughing and talking all the bullshit in the world while we watch our novelas together. I just can't and I won't ever imagine my life without her. I love her so much. She really loves me despite whatever I say, however I look, and all the mistakes I've done. She's always there beside my side and I can't be any more happy to have such a strong woman to look up too and admire. I know she deserves so much more when it comes to my dad and my brother but I hope she finds happiness within her days because she is one person I know deep inside my heart that deserves it all. I can't wait to take her back to her motherland when I get a little bit older and have money because I know that would make her really happy. I know we don't have such a lovely touchy relationship but I know she knows that I love her and not just because she's my mother but just because she is who she is. I really appreciate all the things she has done and will be doing if anything. All the hugs and kisses in the world to my beautiful mom.

Of course, Happy mother's day to the fathers who are the mother and father to their child. <3


We would be nothing without you guys<33

I really dislike the way my body has been feeling. I need to cleanse my body and lose some weight. I feel so disgusting. Maybe constant tea and eating well would make me feel a lot better. Oh and working out as well. I missed my interview today because well yeah confusion sums it up so I'm  trying to reschedule. The lost of hope though made me want to work in a clothing store.

This one song lately has been making me feel so happy. It brings butterflies and smiles out of creation. No memories or reasons to why but I adore this song, I really do. I'm listening to it right now actually. I took a nap today for basically 6 hours and woke up a while ago, I didnt even wake up feeling good, I woke up with regret that I even slept that long. I wish my mom and I had that relationship where I can just lay on her lap and talk while she plays with my hair. I don't think I ever wanted affection this bad from both of my parents. It hurts.

I cooked dinner for my family today. I was planning to make tacos but I ended up making burritos. While I was putting cheese on the chicken, I made sure every piece of chicken had cheese on it because I ended up feeling bad for the other pieces of chicken who didn't have any compare to the ones who already had cheese on it. I don't know what's wrong with me. But if I'm going to cook something that got completely abused, I'm gonna make sure they get treated with so much love while they get cooked. Ugh, that's not even enough and that sounds so horrible. I'm thinking of becoming a vegetarian again.

I hardly ever wear pink and today I am and I felt like I should take a picture because it's just that rare. Today is Sunday, of course. I've been cleaning, devouring over Michael Scott's tumblr, listening to music and I'm going to cook dinner soon with the help of my mum. I want to keep bonding with her so new memories can built. I have to read a few more chapters for english class and do some math problems.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

And I am more than happy to give that to just about anyone, as long as you don't fuck with my family because then I won't be able to give you a second chance because you would be dead. Mhm, dead. But other than those great news, I will give you a second chance as my friend because friends mean a lot to me and I feel like you're able to be my friend again as long as you don't talk shit. But more than that? No no, I don't think so.

I can already tell when I like a song just by the beginning of it. It's that awesome.

Happy dupery MAY!

GOT CIRCA?